The Night Of A Thousand R's

Right from the top, let's be fair about this: I'd never seen or heard of Bean Church before I was called upon to pen these notes for their "Night of A Thousand R's" album. But after just one listen, I was convinced. From the first resounding chords of "Rise Above" to the dying melody of the guitar in "Heart Has Faded", you can tell this album is hitsville. Obviously, arranger-producer Gene Romilton worked closely with the guys and gals of Bean Church to choose the hits--but only the hits with that "something's extra" touch.
"Rise Above" seemed a perfect choice for the husky man-boy voice of Dolphin, Bean Church's devoted guitarist, and with the flavorsome arrangement, takes full advantage of the mellow string sound. Also note the exciting syncopation in the part of our drummer, Waldo Needleman. Of course, you won't linger on those thoughts for long, as the swinging band sound of "Idiotically Happy" pours out of your speakers. Yes, "Idiotically Happy", that know-nothing feeling--even that feeling can be the subject for art when under the pen of Clive Seldom, one of Bean Church's and my own favorite songwriters today. Truly a beautiful tune, not at all sappy or religious. (Note: Thanks, Clive, for letting us invade your library and steal your best tunes!!!) Dolph "Smoky" Zimmer strikes again on "O--Oh!", a piece in the symphonic mode that the boys can really dig into. But let's not forget the influence of the infectious and prolific Stella Artois in "People Really Are Animals", a song dedicated to the "truly blue" everywhere, under the idiosyncratically lousy moon. "Taxi Bus"--played by a pared down combo of B.C. stalwarts Zach, his spouse thumping piano, and Flinch Michaels, accomplished jazz tuba player (though better known for his sly cameo performance in the film "The Worst That Men Can Do") and Dolph Zimmer's throat leaping from the needle's groove. There is no question about individuality here. It was this individuality which was brought to the attention of knowledgable authorities and they were signed to Gravyhills Records. And then, "A.I.D.M.", sounds of reason, courage, and intelligence from an oasis in the epidemic desert. The oasis, a lecture hall on the LA campus of the University of California, where presides a vigorous and knowledgeable gourmet cook, cooking up, as it were, a potpourri of delectable tastes and sounds. Note the driving rear of the boys and their instruments, most notably, Dick Peirce, on skins. If you've ever been the victim of the waiting in long lines to catch an in-person appearance of the Bean Church, then I think you'll appreciate the blazing tracks recorded at one of their outstanding, sensational concerts. "How Deep Is Your Love" and "Garden Party" are two very different songs handled by the Bean Church in a thoroughly youthful, interesting manner. "Dream Weaver" may very well turn out to be the biggest "hit" of all on this cassette, and originally it was slated to be released as a 12" single on RTV/Smoother, that project was vetoed when the top brass there heard the song Bean Church submitted as a "B" side. Probably the chorus of "Succotash, itchy rash, from the sitting on the seat where the chairfuckers meet" worried them.
The final, important piece (and indeed, its importance can be measured in the fact that this long-playing cassette is named after it!) is the suite of songs, "The Night of A Thousand R's". Here a mystically musical statement is made, within the confines of a 25-minute mini-opera. The first part, "A Man In A Vehicle That Can't Stop Needs To Eat", is full of exciting woodwind sounds that will take your breath away and fill your lungs with youthful exuberance. The next part, "Paging Boz" is confusingly beautiful with its' respectable lyrics and tuneful solos. "I Need A Tattoo Of Boz" sends slippery shivers down the spine of even the crippled and diseased, while "The Dock" provides a much needed taste of humorous relief. "Friends" is undoubtably the centerpiece of the suite, and features Alan Bishop of the Sun City Girls promoting the legend of Mister Bandali. (For more information refer to their latest long-player.) "Banana Stand" is the anthemic, orgasmic end to our toe-tapping tape, and what an extraordinary end it it. The light bossa nova sound blends with the exact copy of the exciting sounds of today, and we all stand up in tandem, walk to our stereos, and start up the music again. Great!
Let me warn you: this album is a musically explosive item--the performers call the shots, and you're apt to become addicted to the soulful contents contained herein; personally, I hope if you haven't been turned on already…you'll stick your phonograph needle into the first micro-groove of this LP, and get turned on to this sensational album featuring the great Bean Church.

Dr. Andros Tryon
Grand Rapids, Michigan
May 24, 1987

All performances contained herein were performed by paid musicians and actors and all contents are purely fictional. Boz Scaggs is probably not gay.

Special thanks to: Kenny Rogers (for the scratch paper), Breakfast Without Meat, Otto Parts, Fabrice Clerot, Denver Tucson, T.S. Child, Eric Cope, Bean Church, KALX, Colonel Sanchez Tamales, Poway Stables, Pat Smart, Robin Cochran, Phil Wirtz, Alan Bishop, Sun City Girls, Steve Tupper, Lizzy and Gregg, E.G. Gwynne, Grux, Canned Foods Warehouse, Das/KZSC, Dr. Ted Apperson, Gastroenterologist, The entire city of Reno, Nevada, Dr. Dimapilis, Janis M., Esquire, Club Foot, Robert Omlit, Susan and Terry, Seymour Glass, Pedro Prado, Surys Prado, William Prado, Donal L. Prager, Lawrence Prager, V. Prager, Amy Prahar, Peter Prahar, Ray Prairie, Zapata, Aaron Cometbus, All our friends at Uocot, Abel Settler, Junior, Genesis, Radio Shack, The U.S. Government, The State of Indiana, Dale Nixon, the Beanettes, John Train, Meiselman Steel, Dolph's parents, The Pilsner Inn, Birth of Tragedy, Kirk, The Estate of Tim Buckley, George Mateljan, all the lawyers that worked with us on the 1980 Cohorts Trial, and Bean Church fans all over the block!